I'LL NOT UPDATE HERE ANYMORE MOVED TO HTTP://ANGYANLING.ONSUGAR.COM  BYE XANGA!! :D

I MISS 9 SO BADLY BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE TEXTING HIM BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA DISTURB HIM ): I'M SO JEALOUS TO SEE ONE OF THE PHOTO ALBUM IN HIS FACEBOOK. THOSE PHOTOS TAKEN WITH HIS EXGIRLFRIEND LOOKS DAMN SWEET ): AND HE TAG HIS EXGF THEREFORE I GET TO SEE HIS EXGF FACEBOOK.... ANDDD SAD TO SEE THAT SHE SET THEIR PHOTO AS HER DISPLAY PICTURE... GUESS THEY MEET UP OFTEN TOO ): REALLY DON'T FEEL GOOD SEEING THAT ): KINDA HEARTACHE... SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.............. GUESSSSSSS HE'S STILL IN LOVE WITH HER AS... AFTER SO LONG... HE STILL KEEP ALL THEIR PHOTOS IN HIS PSP AND ALL. SIGHHHHHHHHH AGAIN... I ENVY HER ): I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S MY FUCKING PROBLEM. ...IT HAD BEEN SUPER LONG.. MY HEART JUST STICK TO NO ONE ELSE BUT HIM. I NEVER FEEL THE WAY I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW BEFORE. I KEPT EVERYTHING TO MYSELF.I DIDN'T SAY IT OUT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T CARE. I MEAN, THE GOOD THINGS OUT, THE BAD THINGS KEEP IN MY HEART.................................. I WANNA LET HIM KNOW HOW I FEEL... BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M AFRAID THAT IF I EVER DO THATTTT HE WOULDN'T CONTACT ME ANYMORE ):CAUSE HE DON'T WANNA HURT ME OR SMTH?  I'M ALWAYS WAITING FOR HIS TEXTS. WE DON'T MEET OFTEN, WE DON'T CHAT ON THE PHONE AT ALL. WE SELDOM SMS. I NEED TO WAIT FOR MONTHS TO SEE HIM WHETHER IS HE SERVING NS OR NOT. WE ONLY MEET DURING SPECIAL OCASSION. THE FIRST TIME WE MET WAS THE FIRST TIME WE MET. THE SECOND TIME WE MET WAS I VOLUNTEER TO WORK AT JURONG POINT SO I CAN GET TO SEE HIM. EVEN WHEN I COULD ONLY SEE HIM FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR. I DON'T MIND TRAVEL THOUGH. I FEEL THAT I PUT IN MORE EFFORT... BUT FOR SOME REASONS I THINK HE DIDN'T ): IT'S ALRIGHT BECAUSE I KNEW THAT HE'S ALWAYS BUSY AND THATS WHY I COULD ONLY CHAT WITH HIM ONLINE BEFORE HIS NS. I RUSH HOME TO GO ONLINE BECAUSE OF HIM. I'LL BE SUPER HAPPY TO SEE HIM ONLINE BUTTTT SOMETIMES HE'S SO COLD TO ME. SOMETIMES HE'S BUSY WATCHING YOUTUBE OR WHATEVER STUFF THAT HE'S DOINGGG... AND MOST OF THE TIME, WHEN HE'S DONE, HE WOULD NUDGE ME AND SAID THAT HE'S GG TO BED 'GOODNIGHT' AND OFF HE GO. IT DO HURTS A LITTLE FOR ME, AS I PUT IN EFFORT TO CHAT WITH HIM BUT I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING AT THE END OF THE DAY. SERIOUSLY I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH THINGS. I DIDN'T ASK HIM TO BE TGT WITH ME AS I KNOW HE WOULDN'T WANT IT. AND I'M BLAMING MYSELF ALL THE TIME FOR NOT ACCEPTING HIM THE FIRST TIME HE ASK ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. FULL OF REGRETS. I DON'T NEED HIM TO BE WITH ME. I DON'T MINDD WAITING FOR HIM TO ASK ME OUT LIKE WHAT AM I DOING RIGHT NOW. I DON'T MIND MEETING HIM ONCES IN A BLUE MOON. SO HE WON'T GET BORED OF ME. I SERIOUSLY NO NEED HIM TO MEET ME ALL THE TIME AND SMS ME ONCES A WEEK... I JUST HOPE THAT.. AT LEAST I STAND A PLACE IN HIS HEART. I'M ALWAYS THINKING DO I STAND A PLACE IN HIS HEART? AND WHERE DO I STAND?  I CRIED BECAUSE IM SAD FOR MYSELF BEING STUBBORN AND ALWAYS KEEP EVERYYTHING TO MYSELF AND HURTS LIKE A BITCH IN HEART. SORRY, I'M NOT CRYING JUST TEARING.. I DIDN'T CRY AS MUCH AS I DID WHEN MY EXBF LEFT ME... CRIED ALONE WHOLE NIGHT DON'T EAT DON'T GO OUT.. I DIDN'T DO THAT.. I'M JUST TEARING AND SIGH ALL THE TIME THINKING... I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND JUST CONTINUE WITH MY PLAN, AND DEEP IN MY HEART I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE AT ALL. IT'S NOT JUST 1 OR 2 WEEKS... SIGHH IT'S EVERYDAY SINCE THE DAY I MET HIM. BUT NOT INCLUDE THE DAYSSSS WHEN I'M ATTACHED TO SAMUEL, AND IN LOVE WITH ANDREW THE OTHER TIME. WHETHER AM I ATTACHED OR NOT. IF I'M BACK TO SINGLE, HE'LL STILL BE THE ONE I'M WISHING FOR. BECAUSE HE'S SPECIAL IN SOME WAY. EVEN MYSELF COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT KIND OF FEELINGS AND WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP ARE WE STANDING. IT'S SO WEIRD TO FEEL THIS WAY. REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO ELLABORATE. THE ONLY THING I KNOW...... HE'S SPECIAL TO ME AND THAT'S WHAT KEEP ME WAITING.

A "still remember me" conversation. He scolded me for being unfriendly and not sociable -_- what the fuck. I've no mood alrdyy having a hard time doing my powerpoint presentation. No mood still have to entertaint you guys. he's not the only one who do that alrdy.. Some guys scolded me 'DAO' by not replying their msg in facebook and friendster last time. Like i said numerous timessssss. i don't make guy friends online. UNLESS you're motherfucking hot like jerry yan. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our conversation

Blue - Ryan. Black- Me

hie yan ling :) remember me :)

hellow :)

nvm ;)

ur busy chat other time then bye'

im here

ohh ha ha

i think u forget :)

it fact :)

remember at msn?? that time when rainnin time we chat once? u forget? then u say u want msg ur fren cause ur fren sick might get sick :) if u forget then it ok :) but what i say it fact fren :)

i still have ur msn add :) but i never online maybe if im online u may remember who am i? :) i used play friendster

why you type here alrdy still comment on my wall haha

cause i dont want to trouble u haha :) myabe to you it privacy?

btw i am sorry :)

1:48amAng

huh.. nahhh

1:49amRyan

hey really sorry if irritate u man

1:51amAng

nahhhhhhhh

1:51amRyan

so u still remember me??

haiya! haha maybe ur shorten memory hehe! but i swear it u! haha it yan ling haha !

1:52amAng

oh okay

1:52amRyan

u online msn?

i let u see mine msn :)

nope

ok nv

ha

u mind fren? if u are then i delete it ok to me haha! im not so active here so see new fren and game haha!

no kick my boredom! haha

no i mean to*

why my delete

must

dun get wat u mean..........

haha! dont think wrongly :) haha! i just dont like if person who dont intend making fren with me so instead of adding better delete :) no use adding am i right? so far never meet a person like that. but ur the first one hahaha!wth i didnt do anything to you do you have to say all this

if you dislike me that im not sociable than delete la

haha hey! why angry haiyo :)

i dont mean to make u angry man :) haha

chill :) haha

u never did anything wrong :) haha..

im fucking stressed with my project alrdy you come here and talk crap with me

i no time to entertaint you la you want delete go ahead la.

err sorry then :). i was just talking. it not serious anyway le . cheer up sorry man.

dont know it happen this way sorry

so what you think everyone must be damn friendly to you issit

i never say that. i just predict fren

example like anti social. ok then let stop it. sorry2

ok im sorry u go do ur work then i never disturb sorry

cheer up . sorry. happy doing ur project

feel free to chat. forget abt it . it not important anyway. good luckc on ur project new fren.

goodnite yan ling . anyway BIG SORRY IF I MESS UR DAY TODAY . SERIOUS SORRY. WONT DO IT AGAIN. JUST WANT CHAT NOT FIGHT . SORRY

you spoil my mood la omg. but nvm la byeee nights

:( err. i regret man sorry . good luck on project hope u doing well goodnite once again